I grew up watching my daddy break his back day in and day out to provide for us, and put food on our table. I've never known anyone who works as hard as my dad does and gives their all 100% of the time. My mama is no different. She sacrificed so many things for my brother and I while we were growing up. Life in our world was not always an easy ride, but she never wavered in her strength and determination to give us all that she had to give.
So when I say I'm no stranger to hard work, I mean it. I'm not afraid to break a sweat, shed a little blood and tears, and get my hands dirty.
Humility on the other hand... I've never been great at being humble. I wouldn't say that I'm arrogant or haughty in the least, but humility never crosses my mind when I think about the qualities that I possess. I tend to be stubborn, a little hot-headed, and incredibly competitive. I find that most of the time, these qualities are my strengths and the very legs that I stand on in life.
Having this sort of background, when I got married, I thought that I truly understood what marriage was going to look like. I knew that it would take a lot of hard work; and I also knew that it would take every ounce of humility that I have - but nothing could have ever prepared me for how difficult marriage can actually be, how hard I would really have to work at it, and how humble I would truly have to become to succeed in it. In the short 6 months that I've been married, I've learned so much. I've learned that it's not all about me and what I want, and also, I sometimes really suck at playing fair. But the most valuable lesson I could ever learn is that it's better to give than it is to take.
I thought that I was so prepared for marriage, and to work hard, and that my husband and I would have such an easy ride together. I thought that as long as we were together and loved each other, that would always be enough to make our marriage work and last.
WRONG!
Marriage is not all rainbows and butterflies just because you love each other. Not.At.All. It's all about giving - there is no 'taking' when you commit yourself to someone else. When you're married, your only focus should be giving to that person day in and day out. Talk about a reality check when we had our first fight as a married couple. I wanted so badly to be 'right' and make Ryan feel the weight of how he'd hurt and upset me. I wanted to win. But the beautiful thing about marriage, especially one centered around God, is that I have come to realize, that even in the arguments where I am wrong, and I have to admit it, I'm still victorious. I still walk away a winner, because when I'm humble and can admit defeat, and give up on my pride, it brings me closer to Jesus, and it brings me closer to my husband.
I've always had the mindset of 'You get out of it what you put into it". I cannot begin to tell you how true that is of marriage, but also how different it is in marriage. Marriage is definitely a team effort and there is always going to be a little give and a little take; but when I think about the end goal of staying married, growing together as one with my husband, and truly exemplifying Jesus in our life together, my only priority is to be a giver.
My version of hard work was always physical, and my idea of humility was that it was always hard. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that hard work is not always about what you physically do, and being humble isn't always a chore. In fact, the longer that I walk out this crazy ride that we've embarked on, the easier it is for me to be humble, and the less and less I feel that I have to work really hard at it. There are still going to be days when I am defeated, and there are still going to be nights that I argue with my husband - but thankfully, the longer that we live and grow together, the better we get. :)
-Kelsey
No comments:
Post a Comment