Hard Work & Humility

Working hard runs in my blood. I grew up in a family where you had to work for what you had, and if you didn't then you went without. My parents instilled in me that hard work is one of the most valuable attributes that I as an individual can possess, and to this day I still hold to that truth.

I grew up watching my daddy break his back day in and day out to provide for us, and put food on our table. I've never known anyone who works as hard as my dad does and gives their all 100% of the time. My mama is no different. She sacrificed so many things for my brother and I while we were growing up. Life in our world was not always an easy ride, but she never wavered in her strength and determination to give us all that she had to give. 

So when I say I'm no stranger to hard work, I mean it. I'm not afraid to break a sweat, shed a little blood and tears, and get my hands dirty.

Humility on the other hand... I've never been great at being humble. I wouldn't say that I'm arrogant or haughty in the least, but humility never crosses my mind when I think about the qualities that I possess. I tend to be stubborn, a little hot-headed, and incredibly competitive. I find that most of the time, these qualities are my strengths and the very legs that I stand on in life.

Having this sort of background, when I got married, I thought that I truly understood what marriage was going to look like. I knew that it would take a lot of hard work; and I also knew that it would take every ounce of humility that I have - but nothing could have ever prepared me for how difficult marriage can actually be, how hard I would really have to work at it, and how humble I would truly have to become to succeed in it. In the short 6 months that I've been married, I've learned so much. I've learned that it's not all about me and what I want, and also, I sometimes really suck at playing fair. But the most valuable lesson I could ever learn is that it's better to give than it is to take.

I thought that I was so prepared for marriage, and to work hard, and that my husband and I would have such an easy ride together. I thought that as long as we were together and loved each other, that would always be enough to make our marriage work and last. 

WRONG! 

Marriage is not all rainbows and butterflies just because you love each other.   Not.At.All. It's all about giving - there is no 'taking' when you commit yourself to someone else. When you're married, your only focus should be giving to that person day in and day out. Talk about a reality check when we had our first fight as a married couple. I wanted so badly to be 'right' and make Ryan feel the weight of how he'd hurt and upset me. I wanted to win. But the beautiful thing about marriage, especially one centered around God, is that I have come to realize, that even in the arguments where I am wrong, and I have to admit it, I'm still victorious. I still walk away a winner, because when I'm humble and can admit defeat, and give up on my pride, it brings me closer to Jesus, and it brings me closer to my husband.

I've always had the mindset of 'You get out of it what you put into it". I cannot begin to tell you how true that is of marriage, but also how different it is in marriage. Marriage is definitely a team effort and there is always going to be a little give and a little take; but when I think about the end goal of staying married, growing together as one with my husband, and truly exemplifying Jesus in our life together, my only priority is to be a giver.

My version of hard work was always physical, and my idea of humility was that it was always hard. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that hard work is not always about what you physically do, and being humble isn't always a chore. In fact, the longer that I walk out this crazy ride that we've embarked on, the easier it is for me to be humble, and the less and less I feel that I have to work really hard at it. There are still going to be days when I am defeated, and there are still going to be nights that I argue with my husband - but thankfully, the longer that we live and grow together, the better we get. :)

-Kelsey

A Look in the Mirror

I’ve often heard it said that ‘Happy girls are the prettiest’. I honestly cannot tell you how many times I have heard and seen those words; and every time that I do, I’m taken back to my childhood. I’m taken back to the mirror in our bathroom, and my sour reflection staring back at me from the glass.

When I was a kid, I had a serious attitude problem. (Who would have thought, right!?) Whenever I was in a bad mood, and looking absolutely misshapen, my mother - God bless her - would send me straight into our bathroom to look at my face in the mirror. She would immediately point out how grumpy I looked, and ask me, ‘Do you see how ugly that is?’ I did, EVERY time. Shortly after staring at my horrible reflection, (and sometimes not so shortly after) Mama would tell me to smile, and we would stand in front of that mirror until I did. Each and every time, my face would instantly lift, and my mother would tell me how 'pretty' that looked in comparison to the sour pucker that had previously camped out on my face.

When I was a kid, I had a lot of days that I needed to look in the mirror and let that forced smile overtake me. Almost instantaneously over the years, that fake smile became genuine and would always brighten my mood. To this day, when I am in a bad mood and feeling absolutely wretched, I look in the mirror and remember my mom’s words: ‘Do you see how ugly that is?’ I always do, and I ALWAYS smile.

See, our attitude is a choice. We have a choice every day to let external circumstances define who we are for the day, or to look in the mirror and put a smile on our face. I personally would like for people to look at me and be in a better mood, just because I chose to smile. A smile can go a long way, folks. Even when we don’t feel happy; if we can smile anyway, genuine happiness almost always finds us.

Now I’m not saying I’m perfect or that rainbows and butterflies radiate from my being; I’ll be the first to tell you that I can be pretty foul some days, but even still, my attitude is my choice. Even when I don’t feel like it, I’m going to choose to smile; because happy girls really are the prettiest - both inside and out.

-Kelsey

Hormonal and Loving it

A good cry once in a while can be so therapeutic for the soul - healthy even, but crying all the time? Talk about exhausting!

Lately I feel like I can't stop crying and frankly it's just making me even more emotional than I already am. Like the other day I opened the cupboard under our kitchen sink to get a new garbage bag for our trash can, only to find that my husband - bless his heart - had moved all of my cleaners around to make room for some homemade wine he's recently started brewing. For no reason at all I dropped to my knees and WEPT. Not just a few tears here and there, oh no, but a flood like I've never experienced before - why? Because my cleaners had been moved.

Just recently I was washing our laundry and I pulled one of those convenient little 'Tide Pods' out to pop it in the washer. As I was doing so I happened to notice that the design on this particular pod was crooked and you guessed it - I cried. OVER LAUNDRY DETERGENT!

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What on earth happened to the strong, independent girl that could always hold her own and manage her emotions? What happened to the capable young woman I used to be that could always 'get a grip' when something bothered her? I'll tell you what: pregnancy that's what.

Being pregnant has taken my once solid and stoic persona and turned it into a tub of gelatinous goo. I feel like the most unstable human being on the planet, and to make it worse I know that the things I cry over are ridiculous - which just makes me cry even more because I feel like I have no control over my emotional balance. Honestly it's pathetic. One day you go from being a strong, level headed individual and then BAM! You find out you're pregnant, your hormones kick in, and you lose it.

Let me just be blunt for a second - hormones suck. Haha
The only, and I do mean ONLY upside to this, is that at the end of these 9 emotional months, I get to finally have the dream of motherhood become a reality. The downside? I don't think these hormones will ever go away! But all in all, I'll take being a blubbering mess over the strong individual that I once was if it means I get to be a mama at the end of it, any day of the week.

I really am excited for parenthood. I've truly never wanted anything more than to be a wife (check) and a mother. (almost check) Honestly right now, I'm perfectly content with being an emotional and slightly neurotic woman while I watch my belly grow, and glow over the little life growing inside of me. There's nothing better than this. :)

-Kelsey

Whom Have I?

My taste in music has such a wide range, but my all time favorite has to be really good worship music. There is nothing that lifts my spirit more than giving praise to Jesus, and for me, music is the easiest way to do that.

I was listening to one of my favorites the other day (you can listen to it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ci31hEQinBA) and I couldn't help but just listen to the lyrics and think about how true they should be. The song starts out with 'Whom have I in Heaven but you, God? There is none on this earth that I desire besides you, Lord.' All I could think while listening to those words was, "Do I really believe this to be true in my life?" At that present moment I felt convicted because I know that there are so many things in my life that more often than not, get in the way of my relationship with Jesus. I know that there are days, weeks, and months even when anyone could take a look at my life and see that I am not living a life that screams 'I LOVE JESUS!' That thought breaks my heart.

I want to be an authentic Christian. I want my relationship with Jesus to be so real and genuine that my love for him permeates throughout my daily life. I fail at my walk with the Lord daily; hourly even - but the beautiful thing about the gospel and about God's love for me, is that when I am weak He is strong. When I fail at walking out my faith, I can look to a God whose love for me is not conditional upon my ability to serve him and reach perfection, and rest in knowing that His mercies for me are new each day.

I forget who said it, but there's a quote floating around out there that goes something like this, "The Christian walk is falling and getting up, all the way to Heaven." I cannot tell you how encouraging that is - to know that I'm not the only one who struggles, and that I am continually being sanctified and redeemed by a God who would take up the cross all over again just for me, knowing that I would fail him.

'Hear my Cry, O God, listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy. Let me dwell in your tent forever! Let me take refuge under the shelter of your wings! For you, O God, have heard my vows; you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name.'
-Psalm 61:1-5

-Kelsey

Just a Suggestion

Okay, so I started reading a book. It’s usually not my preferred method of entertainment, or relaxation for that matter, but at the suggestion of my daughter I ordered the book, Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Along with my beautiful daughter in law, Maddie, the three of us gals embarked on a ‘girls only’ Bible Study where we read separately during the week and then have a three-way call on the weekend to discuss each chapter.

Let me tell you something. What he writes in just the first two chapters has actually changed my spiritual walk, and I’m now going to start the same Bible Study with my church family during the week. I don’t know how anyone could read only as far as I have and not get something incredible out of it. If you apply it, it could actually be life-changing, and that is my hope for everyone joining me in the second study.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I am neither promoting or ‘not’ promoting Francis Chan, because I do enjoy his teachings and believe him to be truly grounded theologically when I hear him speak, or read quotes or other articles by him. But, he is simply just an instrument used by God to write and teach the things he does. Crazy Love is no exception, and yet I am grateful for his heart and wisdom on subjects that he tackles, like the ‘relentless love of God’ in this book. I know he would not want my applause, but I am thankful for men like him who truly love God and want to share what they’ve gleaned through their study and spending time in the Word. Thank you for that, Mr. Chan.

If I’ve peaked your interest, or made you a little hungry to get started in a study of your own, let me encourage you to get going. You won’t be sorry, or regret it. Well, at least I don’t know how you could be. The chapters are easy, and you won’t want to stop in-between each one, but you’ll need to in order to reflect and make the most of them. There’s an accompanying workbook, Living Crazy Love, which you can go through too, if you want a more in-depth study - I’ve got both. I cannot wait to dive into the next chapter, and I’m hoping that someone out there will have gotten just enough inspiration to join me wherever you are!

-Leanne